I have become a wedding planner.
No, this is not a job, or a hobby. This is necessity. I'm planning my own wedding, which, although many other brides do this every month of the year, is no small feat. I live in the Midwest, but my wedding is in Buffalo, my hometown, and where I met my fiancee (I'm going to call him Vor--for privacy's sake, and for our own inside sci-fi joke).
I'm not really a planning kind of girl. I don't like to plan the get togethers, the reunions, the nights out. I don't even like to make the decisions when we are already out. For example, I have two wonderful yet equally indecisive friends at the law school. We stood there in a parking lot, staring at each other because we couldn't make a decision about where to go next. We stood there for about five minutes without blinking. We were made for each other, I swear.
But there are so many things to coordinate, to decide, to organize... and so on. Flowers, invitations, wording, tuxes, colors, favors, napkins, chairs, cakes, flavors, food... it goes on and on.
Truly, I love the wedding that we are going to have. It'll be big, but I have a big family, and they'll all be there. Same for Vor; his friends and family will be there, en masse. It'll be at the church I was baptized in, made my First Communion in, got confirmed in, where my sister and brother were married, where my parents were married. The reception is on a back terrace of a country club, so we will be outdoors. And, we will take our wedding pictures in the park where Vor and I took so many long walks when we were first dating.
It sounds so idyllic--what on earth would I want to be different? Oh, a hundred million things. I would love to have had it be very small, to be in Colorado at the base of a mountain. Or to be in Ireland, and have the Irish side of my family there. Or instead, to invite everyone over to my parents and have a barbecue instead of something so formal.
But despite the hated planning, despite the wishes, and should haves, its really perfect. Really, not despite--probably because of. Its a product of decisions, his and mine, and memories, his, mine, and our families. It's all uniquely ours.