Sorry. That's just the way it is.
I had a horrible day. I had to drive an hour and a half as Vor drove back up to Michigan to finish our respective packing problems. I couldn't seem to keep my brain straight, and I forgot, in various stages, things I needed to do, and what I needed to have with me. Which really covers quite a bit of ground when you think about it.
After driving the hour and a half back up to our new house, I discover that the garbage cans, which Vor so diligently put out that morning, were left untouched by the garbage men. Apparently, even they did not want to try to life those. When I tried to drag them back into the drive way and behind the garage, I discovered three things.
1. I am not as strong as I used to be when I was a swimmer and rower. Yes, I still go to the gym, and yes, I lift the weights, but it really just doesn't compare to the intensity of college sports.
2. I was exhausted from effectively moving for three straight days. My back and my knees were at their limit.
3. The garbage men were right. These things were too damn heavy.
So I stood on the end of my driveway, conquered by the garbage cans, having a meltdown. The kind of meltdown that involves crocodile tears. Apparently, I have a kind neighbor named Bob, who helped me drag them back up the driveway.
Anyways. It was a bad day, and I was supposed to go out with my friends to celebrate the end of finals. I hemed and hawed, and finally made myself go.
When I was let into the apartment, they all jumped out--surprise!!! Bachelorette Party!
They went all out, ridiculous t-shirt, bedazzled cups, sash, cake, lingerie, and gift card. It really was too much, and it was wonderful. And so, we went out, like all good bachelorettes do.
Yes, this sounds run of the mill. But I have never been good at making friends, and keeping them. I'm sure it runs in line with other deep seated insecurities I have, but it's always been a problem. I can't count the number of time I made friends in undergrad, only to alienate them when I felt they were too close, or they knew too much about me. Finally, my junior year, I had done it yet again, and I saw the pattern. When I needed something to change in my life, I went about it in the most extreme way--I shed everything, including friends. Clearly, not the way to go.
I promised myself I wouldn't do this in lawschool. However, I know I certainly have tried that little trick of mine; I just can't stop myself. Now, I am blessed with friends who don't put up with that; who track me down and say "Avoiding me much?" And I laugh, and it's all better. For some reason, these friends know me on a level that no one else does. And I am blessed.
Vor was looking at the huge bedazzled margarita glass and jokingly said "Well, you cup certainly runth over." I just smiled, and said, "With my friends, it certainly does."
3 days ago