I am so tired.
Being in law school makes you tired. You get no sleep, your brain is constantly working, and there are endless demands on your time. But despite the dreariness that is law school, there is time.
Now, I know I just implied that there is never time in law school. Well, there is never a large block of time. But, you can make your own--schedule all your classes early or late, make it so that you have Fridays off, or create long breaks in your day.
Not so in the real world.
In law school, I could creep to the gym in the morning, or during my break at 1:00. I could go to the gym at 2:00 in the morning if I wanted to, because I didn't have class until noon. But now, I work from 7:45 to 5:00. Getting up early is just asking for me to fall asleep at the staff meeting, or at my desk, or worse, when the judge gets a little long winded.
Going when I get home... well... it's just not an attractive option.
I like to see Vor. I like to talk to him. And cutting out those few hours a day when we can talk is just not okay with me. So I walk Jekyll the dog with him, and it just isn't enough. I know this, and he knows this, and yet, we are at a stalemate. There isn't enough time in the day.
It's not like I'm one of you lucky people for whom a nice sweaty walk is enough, or a good round of yoga or pilates. Nope. My body is still used to high intensity activity, and that is the kind of activity it demands. Worse than that, my mind demands constant interaction, thought, and reaction--the kind of thing you get from a complicated team sport, where you are constantly shifting and adjusting to what others are doing.
I need the mental and physical intensity. I am a junkie for it.
So tomorrow morning, I will drag myself to the gym. As I will the day after that. I will keep going there, until we have enough money and time to join a different gym, where I can find what I need.
In the meantime, I'm going to see how fast I can run in my sleep.
3 days ago