I have a dream, a dream that one day, I will make a pie like my mother does.
Even as I type that, I can see Vor rolling his eyeballs at me, and saying in that exasperated tone of voice, "Your pies are great!" And it is true. I make a good pie. I made apple pie yesterday for a dinner party, and it was positively delicious. We had to control ourselves from eating the whole thing right there.
It's just not my mom's pie, you know? Hers are perfect and pretty. Though, she often tells me that her first pie wound up in the garbage can. If that is any indication, I am on the right track, because my first pie wound up on the garbage can too.
Do you sense a story coming on? Because I do.
It was Thanksgiving, my first Thanksgiving with Vor, and he had come to spend it with my sister's family and I. My parents were statiyng with my brother. Thus, I became the resident pie maker because my sister does do pie crust. So did I decide to pick something simple, like apple pie? Nooooooooo, I pick lemon meranguine.
It took me hours to make the pie crust the night before, from scratch, and it was delicious. I made little roll up cookie with the extras. Everyone was salivating. And then, having spent hours making the pie crust, I got tired, and decided to make instant lemon pudding. So I made the pudding, made the meranguine (from scratch!!!!) and set the pie out to cool.
The next morning, it wasn't set. It looked like yellow liquid, which in turn looked like...well, you get it.
My sister and I tried to trouble shoot my pie. Was it the crust? The merganuine? The oven temperature? Possible... the instant lemon pudding?
"What did you make the pudding with?" She asked me. "I followed the directions on the box," I told her. "2 cups water..." And my sister bursts into laughter. "Milk!" she shrieks. "You needed milk!" And then she proceeds to say that don't you know there's pudding in milk, Bill Crosby let his kids eat pudding because it was healthy because there was MILK in it.
Good grief. The pie went into the garbage can. I laughed, and I cried, and my sister called my brother, who called me to make fun of me, and so on.
When I finally got over it, and went to the grocery store to get a store made pie (ugh) I cam back to find Jekyll, Vor's dog, with his head in the garbage can, eating my crust.
He looked at me, and I could hear him saying, "But it's sooooo delicious!"
Christmas is Settlement Season
1 day ago