Surfing through On-Demand led me to discover that I can rent Serenity... you know, the spin off movie from Firefly (are you kidding me that you don't know what I'm talking about? It was a great series and an awesome movie. sheesh. go away. go watch.) and I said to myself:
Self, you can rent Serenity.
Now, there's an odd statement.
Can someone please show me how to rent serenity? Or better yet, buy it?
*Beware: Navel Gazing Below*
I started thinking--when is the last time I felt serene? I know the last time I felt happy, overjoyed, excited, thrilled, content, relaxed (I'm going with positive emotions here, serenity seems positive to me, though I suppose it depends on context).
But the last time I felt serene? That takes some thinking.
Now, I am sure there are times when I have been serene, but not been consciously aware of it. I'm pretty sure those times occur at two o'clock in the morning when I roll over and see Vor sleeping next to me, smile, and drift off again. But obviously, I am not awake long enough to really consider my emotional state.
So, better question: when is the last time I felt serene, and was aware of it?
Oh, I know the answer to this one. There is a cemetery in Buffalo (yeah, insert joke here) called Forest Lawn Cemetery. Because it was next door (I kid you not) to where I lived, and because I lived in the city, it was the safest place to go running.
Ah, those were the days--when I could go for a run without having my knees turn black and blue. Anyways.
I would plug in my iPod, set it to Enya, because it somehow seemed wrong to blast Seether or Distrubed, or someother hard music in a resting place, and go for a run. Now, lest you think I am morbid, tons of people use this place to run. Because it's safe, and pretty. As long as you are respectful to any funerals by turning around and going the other way, the management was fine with it. It's also huge, big enough to get lost in easily, and considered a park with magnificent art. Oh, and there's a president burried there.
It was utterly relaxing. Quiet (no jokes, seriously, I've heard them all) and peaceful, beautiful, and well, serene.
There was one spot in particular where I would go sit after my run:
You can hardly see it, but across from this monument, in the area all shaded by trees, is a set of long, old, slate steps that lead down to the water. They're bordered on each side by ivy and a small stone fence. I would sit on the bottom, and gaze up at the monument, and see the water from the fountain behind it rocketing up to the sky, catching the sun's colors. Think about life, poetry, family, love, and Virginia Woolf.
Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand, I don't care, I'm still free, You can't take the sky from me...Since I found Serenity.
(Firefly theme song, written by Joss Whedon)