This *@#$ dog.
I took Telly for a walk. Right before this walk, I was thinking kind, warm, lovely thoughts about him. I was even thinking, you know, I should tell people to get dogs. The housebreaking horror ends quickly, and then they are fun and sweet.
I walked Telly to the park two blocks away, left the lead on, and threw a tennis ball a few feet away for him to go fetch. I could easily grab the leash; it was never far from my feet. This went swimmingly for a few times, until Telly grabbed the ball, faked right, dodged left, and WOOSH, went flying by me, ball in mouth.
A runner in the park tried to catch as I booked after him, but even sprinting, neither of us could get there. The dog is like lightning now! My stupid dog ran the two blocks home, ears flapping, ball in mouth, me screaming "Bad! Dog!" the whole way.
I arrived at my house 45 seconds after Telly did. He was sitting on the front porch, looking at me like look what I found! I found the house! Aren't you proud of me? NO! I AM NOT PROUD OF YOU! Well, if you crazy people would stop leaving the house and making me come with you, I wouldn't have to keep finding the house for you, would I?
Sigh. I am not thinking warm thoughts right now.
Yeah, NOW he's tired.