Friday, July 23, 2010

Wavering

It's so hot outside right now that everything seems to moving in waves. My neighbor's house looks like a mirage, and I can't step on the drive way with barefeet.

I really don't think you need to hear this next part, so I encourage you to stop.

I think the heat makes me lazy and indecisive. It also makes me want ice cream, and pie, and sugar, etc., etc., etc. This is problematic. I really have no tolerance for the stuff anymore. I ate a piece eof chocolate yesterday (hangs head in guilt. it was just sitting there on my desk! evil co-workers!) and then I threw up this morning. Delightful. I've spent the whole day feeling ill, and at the same time, wanting more chocolate. Oh, to be hated by things we love.

Despite the worshiping of the poreclain goddess (ahem), I've felt remarkably chipper and okay today. I met Vor for lunch, at which point, nothing could have possibly sounded better than broccoli cheddar soup.

That remains the only thing I've managed to keep down. I opened up the spice drawer to cook diiner and almost lost again. The smells were too much for me. So, something fast and easy for dinner for Vor it is. Now that I took the time to type this, it occurrs to me that the sensitivity to strong smells and food in general has actually been going on for about three days, not just today.

I swear, it's the heat. The summers here make me crazy. It never got this hot in Buffalo. I have never once seen the thermometer attached to my parents' house ever get above 92. It rarely gets above 80. Now, it's humid, but not this oppressive heat that makes my dog run outside, pee, then run back to the dog and beg to be let back into the AC.

Okay, it should be safe to read again.

I know I started this thing to get myself into the habbit of writing again. I didn't do it for an audience. But it feels kind of lonely, putting words and thoughts out there all the time that just drift. Sometimes I talk to Vor about what I wrote, sometimes I forget. I don't think he reads this anymore.

Plus, work has been so busy, and it's about to get worse. The first 3 weeks of August consist of at least 2 full days hearings every week. Usually, there's 3. That is a major time sink, and I am tired when I get out of that. But instead, I have to come home, and keep on with my French lessons (I'm surprised at how much I remember). This thing has been low on my list.

I don't know. I'm wavering.

2 comments:

LawMommy said...

Um...sensitivity to smell and throwing up?

Get thee to a pharmacy my friend, and buy one of those new fangled pregnancy tests.

And if you decide to stop writing, friend me on FB? (you can email me at zaftig _ goddess at hotmail dot com.)

Grace said...

ACK! Totally not something I thought of... !!