Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Quick and Dirty

1. We have a friend in the hospital, and it's one of those House moments--everyone thinks they know, and then they don't, and then he gets worse, and then they think they know, and things keep worse, and we realize no one knows. I am still waiting for Hugh Laurie to show up with his amazing accent, doing a better American accent than most Americans, and tell us what's wrong. I hope he insults me personally, while he's at it. In the meantime, prayers/thoughts/good vibrations are appreciated.

2. My parents are coming in August and bringing my nephew, Jedi. Who lives in Indy with kids? Tell me good things to do. He's ten.

3. I want bacon, wine, bacon, bread, bacon, chocolate, bacon and bacon, in that order. This bacon craving has got to stop. We don't even have any in the house right now, but I'm thinking about the grocery store. No, I am not having pregnancy cravings. I checked.

4. August looks like it's going to be the month from hell for work. I should just sleep in the courthouse. It would save me some sleep.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Wavering

It's so hot outside right now that everything seems to moving in waves. My neighbor's house looks like a mirage, and I can't step on the drive way with barefeet.

I really don't think you need to hear this next part, so I encourage you to stop.

I think the heat makes me lazy and indecisive. It also makes me want ice cream, and pie, and sugar, etc., etc., etc. This is problematic. I really have no tolerance for the stuff anymore. I ate a piece eof chocolate yesterday (hangs head in guilt. it was just sitting there on my desk! evil co-workers!) and then I threw up this morning. Delightful. I've spent the whole day feeling ill, and at the same time, wanting more chocolate. Oh, to be hated by things we love.

Despite the worshiping of the poreclain goddess (ahem), I've felt remarkably chipper and okay today. I met Vor for lunch, at which point, nothing could have possibly sounded better than broccoli cheddar soup.

That remains the only thing I've managed to keep down. I opened up the spice drawer to cook diiner and almost lost again. The smells were too much for me. So, something fast and easy for dinner for Vor it is. Now that I took the time to type this, it occurrs to me that the sensitivity to strong smells and food in general has actually been going on for about three days, not just today.

I swear, it's the heat. The summers here make me crazy. It never got this hot in Buffalo. I have never once seen the thermometer attached to my parents' house ever get above 92. It rarely gets above 80. Now, it's humid, but not this oppressive heat that makes my dog run outside, pee, then run back to the dog and beg to be let back into the AC.

Okay, it should be safe to read again.

I know I started this thing to get myself into the habbit of writing again. I didn't do it for an audience. But it feels kind of lonely, putting words and thoughts out there all the time that just drift. Sometimes I talk to Vor about what I wrote, sometimes I forget. I don't think he reads this anymore.

Plus, work has been so busy, and it's about to get worse. The first 3 weeks of August consist of at least 2 full days hearings every week. Usually, there's 3. That is a major time sink, and I am tired when I get out of that. But instead, I have to come home, and keep on with my French lessons (I'm surprised at how much I remember). This thing has been low on my list.

I don't know. I'm wavering.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

And Then I Got My Geek On

We went to ISO's Symphony on the Prairie last night, and the theme was classical science fiction music.

I took tons of pictures of storm troopers, Darth Vader, the droids (they moved! on their own! they rolled all over the place!), etc., etc., etc. George Takei was there, and spoke for a new minutes, and narrated one of the songs from Star Trek.

Overall, a wonderful night to camp out on the prairie with Vor, and with a bottle of wine and some cheese, and listen to the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra. (They even played the Stargate theme!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Incoming!

One friend from Vor's college days.

Need to do: get something defrosted for dinner, clean guest bedroom, make bed, vacuum dog (sigh, I wish this one would me do that... definitely a a part of the previous model of canine that I appreciated), put away dishes, jump in shower (dirty form spending most of day downtown at court house...shudder), glass of wine, start cooking.

I'm sure there is something I am missing... such as relaxing, napping, reading through yet another Paris guidebook?

Embrace the weekend! It's sunny and beautiful in Indy :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Bottle of Bread and Two Loaves of Wine

Paris, je t'aime.

The first time I went to Paris, my brother took me out to dinner--he was stationed in Germany and had traveled to Paris with myself and my parents for a weekend get away. Mom and Dad stayed back at the hotel room, eating food from one of the fresh markets on the street.

When we got back, my Mom was very giggly and my Dad was red faced. Mom informed us that no siree, she was not jealous of the super nice dinner we just ate, because she and Dad just had two bottles bread and a loaf of wine.

Drunk as a skunk, I tell you. A great memory. A memory we like to break out every now and then.

So, Vor and I would like to make a few of those memories of our own--in Paris, that is. We're going. Next year, spring time. Be there. Or rather, please don't be there, because (1) I won't recognize you and (2) I would like some quality time with Vor, if you catch my drift.

Of course, this is appx. 7 to 8 months away, but that has not stopped me from checking out every guide book the library owns on the Paris and Normandy areas, and making tentative selections of where I want to go, what I want to see, etc. Since this is ONLY 7 to 8 months out, I've also checked out a French textbook and some CDs, so that I can brush up on my French. I've been tentatively testing it out--I can understand most written things, a fair bit of spoken things, and but just about nil comes out of my mouth properly. Le sigh.

Vor's never been, so the usual suspects are in play: Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, Louvre, etc. I'd like to put some twists on those, and add a few of my own. Versailles is high on the list. Didn't get to go either time I was in Paris. I've been tot he D-Day beaches, but I want to go with Vor. Things like that gain more meaning as you gain more perspective.

I've been to Mont-St-Michel, but man, do I want to go back. What do you mean you've never heard of it? Go here, and here, and here, and now tell me how much you want to see this. It's amazing. The Abbey opens up to the sea and the sky, so you feel like you could leap into the clouds. The city itself feels like you imagine Minas Tirith would feel (Lord of Rings, yes I am showing my geek side, love it and embrace it). The road winds upwards, and it is a narrow road, full of shops.

So. What would you do? Wine tour? Something else?

Friday, July 9, 2010

I Must Have Part of My Brain Missing

The plan is to wait a little bit longer.

The beginning of next year. It will make a Europe trip even more romantic. We'll know our financial situation better then, I'll have worked longer, we'll be more flexible.

I hate to say this, but I will never be crazy about the idea of being a mom. But there's been a shift. I'm not actively seeking it, but I am at peace with the idea. I'm okay with it. I've been okay with it for a few months now, so I don't think I'm changing my mind.

But maybe we should hurry up, just in case I change my mind tomorrow. I do that.

'Fess Up

I figure if I tell you, I will be accountable.

I've been so good since starting this diet in January. Then I went to Buffalo, and I ate pizza and chicken wings, because I had been planning on doing that, because it is a crime to eat pizza and chicken wings anywhere outside of Buffalo. (No Hooters does not have good wings. You are fooling yourself. BW3 are even worse.)

Then I ate a rice krispie treat, and a brownie. I told myself Buffalo was a free for all ticket. Then I came home and ate a piece of chocolate, and I ate some corn chips.

This needs to stop. Now. Diabetes is no good.

There, now I told you. I will tell you tomorrow how good I was.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Never Go Home Again

It's true. At least for me, it's true--once you're out, you can never go home again.

I loved seeing my family. I especially loved hanging out with my nieces and nephews. They might be some of the coolest, cutest people on the face of this earth.

But I found myself pretty much unable to just roll with the things I would have rolled with before.

The fact I have not seen my brother in forever, and he decided that his time was better spent going camping for the limited amount of time I was? Not cool. I told him so too, and I told my family at large so, which created shock and awe, and not in a good way.

The fact that once my parents learned my brother would be gone while I was here, so they tried to get me to come up a week earlier? Never mind that I have a really job that I worked for, and work at. He was getting inducted into the high school hall fame!!! That's a big deal, Grace, why can't you be here? Um.

Then there was my sister. She was snotty while shopping for a bathing suit with me, and a raging--I hate to say it, but it is true--a raging bitch to my mother. My mother ran out of the pool and into the house crying. I wanted to dunk my sister in the deep end. I don't know when she became such a snotty bitch, but it happened. (Sorry, sorry for profanity, but... not buts. It's true)

I can't even type the story without getting mad, so I'm not going to go there right now. Later, when I figure out how to try and deal with this, I will, and I will turn to you, O Wise Internet, Whose Feelings Are Not Currently Hurt Like Mine Are. I realize this is a long title for you, but you have to take what you can get.

I get so tired of defending my family. I love them fiercely, but they can do some very strange and mean things. They--we--are hotheaded, competitive, and have a propensity for arguing. But we're also loyal and protective, which is why this little vacation of mine was so painful in some ways. I don't like having to protect my parents against my siblings, especially ones that are so much older than me. I don't like having to defend my parent's boneheaded moves to my siblings and my husband.

Can't they all see how easy it is to understand what the other person meant? My Dad is sarcastic. Take it as a joke, because that is undoubtedly the way he meant it. My Mom does not have a mean or unsympathetic bone in her body, so either a) she had no idea she was offending you or b) she was so embarrassed about what she did she could not even apologize. My brother, while abrasive, means well and wants everyone to be happy and health. My sister... I'll reflect on that.

When did Prada, my oldest niece, get to be almost 18 and becoming a senior in high school? When did Scout, my oldest nephew, get that really deep voice? Jeter, the next nephew, has suddenly become more mature--a teenager, and not one of the little kids anymore. Jedi, the next nephew, grew so much. Then there was Blossom--I swear she grew a foot too, and she was much quieter. Brick, the last nephew--his stuttering is gone, and his attitude is great. Petunia hit the terrible threes with angelic grace, and is much taller than before. I don't understand.

I used to be able to go home and slide back into the routine of things--the peacemaker, the one who got other people to understand or at least talk.

I can't slide back in anymore.