Wednesday, May 11, 2011

But Some Secrets Are Not Yours To Tell

My relationship, personal and professional, to this person is complicated, but for the sake of this, let's call him/her a colleague. Obviously, I had to tell work about le bebe, because there are thin walls and it's not hard to hear the puking girl in the bathroom.

However, I was not expecting to head downtown, walk into the court room, and have all the clerks and a judge congratulate me.

I was not expecting the same thing to happen again at THE NEXT FOUR COURTROOMS I WENT TO. Clerks, judges, bailiffs, even one of the sheriffs.

How does this happen, you ask? A colleague is how this happens. A colleague you tell, because s/he is a person you would end up turning to for either personal or professional support if anything went wrong.

Would I be turning to the entire City/County Court Building for support if something goes terribly wrong? NO. That's why I didn't burst out telling them good news, even though I see these people just about every day. Plus, it's a gossip fest. If the Court knows, the attorneys who go into that Court (read: the entire Indianapolis legal community) will know.

Did you read that? THE ENTIRE INDIANAPOLIS LEGAL COMMUNITY.

Yes. I have been fairly free with the information, because I believe I have a kiddo right now, and if something happened (can you tell we have had really bad experiences with pregnancies lately here?) I would want people those people I told to know, to understand, to... I don't know. Something. Because in some way, I rely on them. I would turn to them.

True, I did not issue an office edict that said, Please Do Not Pass On. Maybe I thought that was somehow implicit in the fact I am only sixish weeks along. Or the fact I said I wanted to keep it to myself longer, but I thought they needed to know. Or the fact I announced it in a private meeting, and I shut the door. I don't know.

THE ENTIRE CITY COUNTY COURT BUILDING.

I'm waiting for the cashier at Kroger to tell me congratulations.

Truly, when this happened, I was stunned. I kept smiling, and said thank you, and told people as little detail as possible. And then I thought, well I had better preempt this, and in the next courtroom I went into, I told the clerk, I have some good news, and she said, we already know you're pregnant! What fun! Ditto, Ditto, Ditto.

I am still a bit stunned. I don't know if I am mad. I don't know if I am okay with it. I am just stunned.

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