Just now, with gestational diabetes and taking insulin shots, which as I am sure you can imagine, has caused a several minor and major meltdowns on my part, since I am the no sugar queen.
There has been lots of "how the $&%@ did this happen to me?!?" which has resulted in two doctors and one nurse and one nutritional specialist telling me with a shrug, "It just happens. You couldn't have stopped it. Not your fault."
Sigh. Insulin shots it is, for the two weeks that is left of this pregnancy.
Funny thing is, I don't look like I have GD. I am not swollen at all. My face is really thin, thinner than usual. My rings fit, my shoes fit, I still have my regular ankles--hell, I still pretty much have my regular legs.
My sugar numbers are so borderline that my doctor was really hesitating to put me on the insulin at all--diet was controlling it just fine, except... except... except. There's my favorite word.
Except at night. My hormone levels would spike, which is the problem--I am producing some hormone that is blocking my insulin. So, after fasting for however many hours, I would wake up and my numbers were HIGHER than they were after dinner. Shoot, I could eat a piece of cake and I was fine! But let me go to sleep, and man, those number would shoot right up.
So, if I delivered le bebe during such a spike, it would be dangerous for her, thus insulin.
My placenta is trying to poison us.
I am supremely peeved. I tossed a mini fit last night about this whole thing. Vor, bless him, has been so patient and understanding.
My parents... meh. They've been okay. I can explain it to them, and they're like, "Oh. Ok. Whatever keeps you and baby healthy." But if I dare breathe a word of complaint (I mean, I am 8 1/2 months pregnant. I am allowed a small whine now and then, right? Especially if it is a whine done in good humor?), then I get from my mother one of the following options:
IT COULD BE WORSE JUST BE GRATEFUL.
IT COULD BE WORSE YOU COULD BE ON BEDREST BE GRATEFUL.
I ALMOST DIED AFTER I HAD YOU BE GRATEFUL.
THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA BE GRATEFUL.
Which, okay. But it makes me not want to call my my own mother and talk about my pregnancy.
I will say, I am impressed with the way technology has advanced since one of my great uncles had diabetes. I remember really long scary needles and lots of blood all the time. The jabber I stick myself with to test my numbers barely even registers as "I am being stuck" and the needle for insulin--I can't even feel it. It's kind of creepy, actually.
It's just that I have to do it at all.
I suppose the good news is that if le bebe has not shown her pretty little prune face by January 3, my due date, on Jan 4, baby will be making her grand entrance, like it or not, since they don't let people on insulin go late. I am still hoping for a December baby. Vor is hoping for a December baby. Our tax forms are hoping for a tax deduction December baby.
In other news in one paragraph, there has been lots of upheaval in my work life, which has resulted in a very busy very stressed Grace, but stressed in a good way. In fact, the last month and a half has been a complete blur, all thanks to work.