I’ve noticed myself on high alert, constantly, this entire month so far. I couldn’t quite figure it out until one of my senior colleagues said, “And this July, you have nothing to worry about!”
Oh. Yes. I forgot.
July, it’s been a pattern with you, and no offense, but you’re a month I’d like to skip or rename or take out of order.
July 2008: Vor takes the bar. Jekyll the dog starts to die while Vor is taking the bar. Vor finishes bar exam. Dog dies.
July 2009: I take the bar.
July 2010: Major drama with unplanned teen pregnancy with close friends; Vor’s co-worker is murdered; Vor’s office building is shot up.
July 2011: Pregnant, still puking constantly; gestational diabetes; Person X becoming hostile and threatening towards me.
July 2012: The summer of craniosynostosis and cranial vault reconstructions and recovery from surgery and never ever sleeping.
So, July, here’s the plan for you this year: Put up the pergola in the back yard. Hang out on the deck in our new shady spot. Deal with Lis’s pink eye (thanks, daycare! Oh well). Go to the aquarium on the cranio anniversary. Snuggle Lis. Kiss Vor.
July, so help me, if you have got something else in store, I will take your evil plans and show you exactly what to do with them.