We got married five years ago. We started dating eight and a few months change years ago.
We started dating five months before Vor left for law school—we had been friends for about a year before that. Right when we should have been “getting serious” etc., we turned into a long distance relationship during tumultuous years—my last year of college, applying to law school, which was also his first year of law school, and the following year, my own first year of law school, in a different state than where Vor was at school.
We were long distance for three years.
We’ve been through three years of long distance, two different 1L years, family members dying, a beloved dog dying, two bar exams, epic family fights and deep hurt that almost resulted in no contact between me and my family, a heart attack scare, a hard pregnancy, the murder of a close friend, Lis’s surgery, and months and months of no sleep.
There’s times where I think, if we are fighting over this, how can we make it through a big thing? Then I realize—we’ve been through the big thing. We’ve been through a few big things. Sometimes we did poorly, and sometimes, we did well. No matter how we did in it, we came through it okay, and sometimes learned valuable lessons about each other and ourselves. Those lessons have always helped for the next big thing.
We squabble, we apologize; we hurt each other, and then give back and heal. We learn, and we grow; we disagree, then unite. We take it all for granted, but then we hold on tight to remind each other of their steadiness of our bond.
It’s been a good five years/eight+ years. No—not good. It’s been great, and humbling, and hard, and fun, and everything. It’s been everything to me, and I know for the next years, it still will be.