Despite the doctor's fears (and mine!) it was not a poisonous spider bite. Lis apparently has eczema, gifted to her via me, so that's a delight we can share in together. Then, she had an allergic reaction to the laundry detergent, but it only manifested itself on the eczema patch. All in all, it ended up looking just like a really dangerous and getting worse bite.
Of course, after playing outside all day today, I looked at Lis's neck, and she has two little puncture marks close together, so she was clearly bit by the vampire that lives under our deck.
Really, the challenge was going to be me. I knew that whatever Lis's problem was, I was addressing it, and it would be remedied. I was unsure of my ability to keep my shit together while explaining the bite/patch/whatever to the doctor, let alone wait while tests were run. I was terrified of her saying, "Yup. ER." And yet, I did it. I was calm, I soothed an increasingly pissed off toddler DONT TOUCH ME MAMA DONT LET DOCTOR TOUCH ME, I showed changes in the patch, etc.
It may seem stupid, especially how it played out to be nothing, but I am pretty proud of myself. The last time Lis had a medical procedure done was when she had pneumonia and had to have a chest xray and I stood there, tears just rolling down my face, paralyzed. Nothing major had to be done this time, nothing that was too reminiscent of our little sojourn in the hospital, but I was hanging out there under threat of the ER, and I still kept it together.
Our Best Highest Selves
2 days ago