Friday, December 4, 2015

A Reckoning

I’m thinking about starting either a written fitness journal, or a fitness blog, to keep track of myself and keep myself accountable. Okay, less thinking, and more trying it out.

In October, I started feeling run down. I had actually been doing well up until then—steadily losing some weight, working out, eating well. Then I felt crappy and ate nothing but pasta and mashed potatoes. I stopped working out because I couldn’t breathe and I was so damn tired. I finally went to the doctor, and lo! I had gained more than ten pounds, and I had pneumonia. So, I haven’t been able to work out for more than two months. I ate like crap. I still struggle to get in a workout because I wheeze and cough and get so tired, but it’s getting better, slow but sure.

While I was at the doctor’s office, she raised her eyebrows at me, and I thought uh oh. Here it comes. The weight shaming. She gently reminded me that I had gestational diabetes, and that diabetes runs in my family. I need to lose weight. I need to have my sugar levels checked. I need to be better about going to the doctor. 

Truth be told, I have been deliberately avoiding seeing my GP because I didn’t want to have this conversation, have a blood draw, and have them tell me that I have issues. But maybe that’s what I need.

So, starting today, I am bringing myself to a reckoning.  It’s all being recorded. I’ll try both, online and written, and see which works better for me. I know I have to be gentle right now—it turns out that pneumonia is no joke—but I can get a start. I am giving myself three months, and then I am scheduling a doctor appointment for the inevitable blood draw. If I have an issue, I need to know. I need to give myself a chance to correct it, hopefully on my own, or with better living through chemistry. 

If you want to play along, I’m at . I’ve got  a plan and goals.

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